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Veröffentlicht Hellfried Knuth | Montag, 18. Dezember 2017

Download Bored Panda app! Bernard Manning You are a leaf that doesn't know it is part of a tree. To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. A single moment of understanding can flood a whole life with meaning.

You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark? In fact, on of my favorite activities is Protestant spotting. If you enjoyed this page of 50th birthday sayings and funny 50th birthday quotes and you would like to share it with your friends please use the buttons on the bottom of this page to Tweet or Facebook us to your friends. Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper. Good fire, good marriage, same rule.

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Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry. To know how to grow old is the masterwork of wisdom, and one of the most difficult chapters in the great art of living. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

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Mommie Poppins is a series of sayings by a sassy new mom who has a slightly different take on things women experience during pregnancy. Boys are like parking spaces, all the good ones are taken. If anything, we have so much more to offer! It is practically the definition of marriage:

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15+ Jokes About Being Single That Will Make You Laugh, Then Cry

Wasn't it finer, more splendid, more nourishing, when it was, like life itself, a mixture of the sordid and the magnificent; of mud and stars; of earth and flowers; of love and hate and laughter and tears and ugliness and beauty and hurt. Marriage is not a word Mencken I dreamed of a wedding of elaborate elegance, A church filled with family and friends. And by then it was too late. There is nothing wrong with making love with the light on. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.

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All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him. From contemporary comedians to the timeless tongue-in-cheek wisdom of the ageless greats— Will Rogers , Mark Twain and Groucho Marx —there are funny quotes for all occasions and all senses of humor. Marilyn Pittman No sense in being pessimistic. I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o clock in the morning.

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Subscribe to our top stories Subscribe. Ye'll borrow it cheaper. Unknown I'm an ocean, because I'm really deep. In fact, women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage. I did that 5 times The point is, they will share a VCR, a microwave oven, etc.

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Fortunately, finding funny quotes is easy these days. I did that 5 times If only there were a choice!!

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Unknown Intolerance will not be tolerated! ShannynSletcher 2 years ago She spelled it Periosd Could it be that I do is the longest sentence?

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The authenticity of this quote is disputed and no source before can be found, though this sentiment was certainly not expressed first by Einstein even if it was really spoken by him. Campbell, for instance, who, on a celebrated occasion, threw her companion into a flurry by describing her recent marriage as the deep, deep peace of the double-bed after the hurly-burly of the chaise-longue. First, let her think she's having her own way. I had been trying for years, including a miscarriage, so when I finally saw that plus sign, I was afraid to believe it!! If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left. What do you think?

"The words you need by the people you admire."

The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest. Luckily for me, I was never a drinker of alcohol to begin with, so that didn't change. That was a true but incomplete answer. To know how to grow old is the masterwork of wisdom, and one of the most difficult chapters in the great art of living.

George Burns Among the things you can give and still keep are your word, a smile, and a grateful heart. And by then it was too late. I dieted for a month and all I lost was 30 days. Fortunately, finding funny quotes is easy these days. As quoted in Hands Pointed Up pg.

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Now is the time to make your mark on the world — explore the Antarctic or become an astronaut. Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected! Download Bored Panda app! I had the radio on. Unknown Wi-fi went down for five minutes, So I had to talk to my family.

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To the world, you may be one person; but to one person, you may be the world! JadeLynn 2 years ago I am very happy to hear that your daughters did not have any problems. It is a mathematical fact that fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class.

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Joan Rivers is famous for her one-liners such as: Don't think of yourself as an ugly person. Sign Up Forgot your password?

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John Goodman isn't fat. But insanity is a better defense. In your fifties time becomes precious and must not be wasted - every minute is an excellent opportunity for a good nap. Marriage is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important.

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